From day to day I think I am always thinking why can't I be more like so and so. I have so many amazing people in my life that are so put together and amazing I can't help but notice them.
First of all my sister Wendy...What an inspiration she is to me. I don't know how she does it all. But no matter what, she always seems to have it together. No matter how tough things are for her and her family she is amazing. I love her so much even though when we were little and would fight I would sucker punch her. I am such a brat.
Then there's my sister in law Brittney. Full time job, mother of one, and wife of my brother. I can't ever remember a time when I have been to her house and seen one ounce of clutter. Mine on the other hand is nothing but clutter. I love the respect she gives to her home and how inviting she makes it feel. Her home invites the spirit in which is something I can strive harder to do also.
Next is my Mom, Again I don't know how she has dealt with all of us! She is the most kind hearted person I know. And, she makes the best food ever. No matter how hard I try to replicate her meals (Sunday dinner & taco's) mine are never the same. That includes looks and taste. She has the magic touch to make anything the best. And of course there is the fact that she is MY Mom and the best Mom in the world.
As I look at all these women I can't help but admire them and strive to be more like them. Of course this is only a small handful of my inspirations. There are many more of them out there.
Then there's this other thing that started just today. My emotions are all over the place. I have no idea what's going on. Today in drill practice I just started to get angry and felt like yelling at my team. They didn't do anything to be yelled at. It was the weirdest feeling ever. I actually had to say something out loud to get my anger in check. It was weird.
Also, today at Target, I had to buy Andrew's new undies in the little boys section. My baby is growing up and that makes me cry. I'm crying right now just writing this. Man I have lost it :)
Finally there is that constant feeling of being overwhelmed much of the time. I have finally come to the realization that something must go. I just have to decide what and by schools end something will be gone. I just don't know what. At least I have 9 months to figure it out. In a financially perfect world, I could work part time while Andrew went to school and spend half my day with Brooklyn. Maybe that will come true maybe it won't.
All I know is that I can only be my best self everyday. Its up to me to be my best so I can give those around me the love they deserve.
Ok...The end of the thoughts running through my head. If you made it this far thanks for listening!!
1 year ago